Say hello to Mai, my first guest featured on Behind the Beam. Behind the Beam focuses on the lives of everyday people to see how they view the wellness space and how they practice wellness in their everyday lives, even if they don’t see it as “wellness".
Mai is in her mid-20s and currently living in Brooklyn although she was born and raised in Queens. She is studying for the MCAT and is the oldest of four siblings. Having three younger siblings is something that Mai deeply identifies with. The energy of being around so many other people is something that really shaped her. She swears she only gets along with people who have a lot of siblings. I know a couple of people who may disagree. Mai is a first generation Japanese American. Both of her parents moved to America in their 20’s. They met in NYC when her dad was a waiter at the four seasons and her mom was dining at the restaurant with her friends. Her dad got her mom’s address and the rest is history. Cue the swooning. In general, Mai doesn't really use the term wellness. When I asked her what she thinks of when she thinks about wellness she responded, “I think of the brand Outdoor Voices. I think of still needing to be good at something or like having your thing.” The wellness industry, including Outdoor Voices doesn't seem fully authentic to her. “Wellness is never completely realistic...everything about it even if it's like a juice company no way I could drink that every day” The representation of the wellness industry is also disappointing to Mai and she gets excited about asian representation in the influencer/social media sphere in general. While Mai doesn't necessarily identify with the marketing of wellness, below we discuss parts of the wellness space and how Mai navigates it.
Food
For Mai, wellness is food. She firmly believes in enjoying food and that the happiness you get from food is invaluable. The experience around eating is really important to Mai. Growing up with parents in the restaurant industry and then working in the restaurant industry herself, food has always been deeply ingrained in Mai’s life. Mai prides herself on the ability to eat anything. She attributes this both to her parents and to her Japanese culture, which is seen as being open to a variety of flavors. Her parents are very curious people and grew up eating all types of food and sharing the experience together. To this day if she goes home they sit down as a family and have dinner at 7:30 PM. A typical dinner growing up for Mai would be plain grilled fish, not salmon or tuna but just a white fish from the market, always miso soup, a bowl of rice and some type of poached green like spinach and garlic chives. Mai said there was never portion control because everything about it is healthy already. Mai has general guidelines of what she wants to put into her body but it's more ruled around how she feels. Nothing is strict.
I asked Mai if she felt like her upbringing saved her from the toxic part of healthy eating that runs rampant in the US. She thinks she was, in part because she was more educated on food and health from her parents. To Mai, a carb is not unhealthy because she had it every night growing up. A bowl of rice is a staple in her diet. "It is not a lot, but it's a bowl and you have it every night and it's good for you so it would never be a bad thing." In terms of eating healthy, Mai joked “I am sure at one point I had too many cokes but I never was an unhealthy eater because my parents had such a positive mindset when it came to food. I have a sweet tooth and food also makes me feel better but I do not have food guilt and so I do not overindulge." Now Mai is enjoying living alone because she is cooking different foods and incorporating flavors she grew up with.
Exercise
Corona has really changed everything for Mai in terms of exercise. Pre-corona she was training for a half-marathon and now she doesn't even have enough room to do yoga in her apartment. She showed me her apartment. She really doesn't. When I asked her if she has been working out she responded “I am being forced to exercise. I have to bike to get to work. It’s 5 miles one way to work or like a thirty minute bike ride. It feels good but sucks obviously.” In terms of running, Mai said “Running with a mask on has been horrible. It hurts my run count because I do not like it as much. I used to run maybe 2 to 3 times a week or a little more when I was training for the half but now maybe once a week because it's more anxiety inducing.” If anyone has a good running mask please let us know.
Mai also moved apartments mid-quarantine. In her old apartment she was doing a lot of yoga, mostly from watching her friends on instagram and some youtube videos. Her boyfriend does a lot of yoga and helps motivate her. Mai likes yoga but it still has it's limitations. “It gets you sweaty but not the same release as cardio, but I still feel stronger.” In her new apartment she doesn't even have space to do yoga and she does not want to do it in a park. “I mean I could do it on my bed” she joked. “Living in NYC, the limitations of space really show up in every sense.” Mai says that it is different from her time growing up in Queens where she did have a lot more space. “The transition has been tough.” Mai admits. Still Mai bikes, she walks a decent amount a day, especially on weekends just to get places. Her boyfriend influences her to exercise and it is nice for her to have someone to do it with and someone to motivate her. Being able to be flexible in terms of what exercise Mai can do has been really important during the global pandemic.
BEAMS
Skin Care
When I asked Mai about what makes her feel good she immediately lit up and bashfully said “my skin care routine.” She compared it to other aspects of the wellness industry and why she likes it so much more. “Workout clothes have never done it for me. There is not much reason for me to indulge in special food, but for skin care it has been really helping me. My sister really influenced me to care about skin care in the past year. I am doing my research and it all makes sense. There are tangible results and my skin has never been this nice. I'm spending money and taking time to take care of it and I love it. It is a routine you are able to do with yourself and only for yourself.” It does seem like there is something about skin care and how it makes you feel. I think because it makes people feel so good, a lot of the skin care marketing has started to be geared or put under the umbrella term of wellness, although I would categorize it more under beauty. Mai explains why she loves it. “I never will want to be that person with a crazy cabinet. It is about having a more manageable routine. You just need your three to five staples and that's it - it requires work because obviously things work for people that don't work for you but there is research out there that something works.” I think the core of this conversation speaks to the more tangible cause and effect with skin care or beauty compared to wellness. If you stick to a simple skin care routine you may actually see direct results, whereas there is a lot to unpack with workouts and eating in general. The results are murkier and benefits less clear. There are obviously a lot of reasons to focus on eating healthy and working out but it's not as direct of a cause and effect, and not as simple as a skin care routine. I think that can be demotivating to a lot of people. I also think if the goals of eating healthy and working out are superficial or externally motivated it is harder to follow through and see results. ANYWAYS... See below for Mai’s skin care routine.
1. Wash Your Face: Mai uses Milky Jelly Cleanser in the morning and night. Mai loves the cleanser and says it is gentle, foamy and smells good. She emphasized you need to pat your skin dry with a towel and not rub it dry.
2. Toner: Mai uses Thayer’s Witch Hazel Toner which you can get at any drug store. She uses a cotton pad to remove any excess dirt and establish her skin pH.
3. Chemical Exfoliant: I loved listening to Mai talk about Step 3. She thinks this step has given her the best results. She also got really excited about the science behind it. She stresses the science behind a chemical exfoliant and how much better it is for the environment and your skin compared to a bead exfoliant.
4. Serum: Mai uses a Hyaluronic acid serum in the morning and at night she uses a Vitamin C Serum. She gets the 2 for 1 kit from Glossier. She uses Super Bounce in the morning and Super Glow at night.
5. Moisturize: She uses Clinique
6. Sunscreen: Mai uses sunscreen in the morning. She likes Super Goop Glow and Super Goop Play mostly for the marketing. “Their products have worked for me but their marketing is so good. I have never worn sunscreen regularly and sunscreen is really a year round thing. Once you do start wearing it you feel the effects of being out of the sun and how harsh that is everyday.”
Five Push-Ups
Being able to do five solid push-ups at once was a goal of Mai’s when she started quarantine. Mai says “It is such a lame goal but I am proud.” I think it’s a great goal.
Her Fire Escape
Mai did not specifically mention this beam, but she went outside to the fire escape mid-conversation and I could see how much happier she was just by having some space outside.
Plants
Seeing the growth of her plants has been something very comforting to Mai, especially in quarantine.
Parade
A brand that makes Mai beam is Parade. Parade is a new NYC based underwear brand. Mai loves their underwear, and how comfortable they are. She also just loves the brand. “Their instagram is probably the best I have seen in terms of exclusivity and body positivity.”
Looking Forward
A goal for Mai would be to read a book for rest and relaxation. “I want to be that person - but picking up a book is so hard. I enjoy reading the news and longer stories but something about a book that is really hard for me. I read normal people which was an easy book to read. Obviously I loved it.” If you haven't read Sally Roony’s Normal People stop reading this blog immediately and read that now.
At the end of our conversation we discussed how everyone can feel insecure at times, especially in today’s world where there is constant comparing along with constant content and advice on how to improve yourself. Mai exclaimed, “I don't think there is a perfectly confident human. It feels like we are all kind of just made to some extent to criticize ourselves and or try to be better when you don't necessarily have to be better and maybe how we are right now is enough.” I think that’s a beautiful sentiment to Beam and to the wellness industry in general. While it seems like the wellness industry is always trying to improve you, trying to perfect you, Beam is just about trying to find those few things that make you feel good and going with it.
Thanks for reading about Mai and her Beams. Hopefully it inspires you to think about what makes you beam, what may be missing in your life and how your life doesn’t have to measure up to what you think it should be.
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